


Happy Life On a Balcony

by Nerdyesque



Category: In Plain Sight
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Future Fic, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-03
Updated: 2014-12-14
Packaged: 2017-11-13 11:17:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,487
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/502947
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nerdyesque/pseuds/Nerdyesque
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Marshall reflects on the past five years without Mary since the closing of ABQ Witsec</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Marshall stared at himself in the mirror, noting the dark circles beneath his eyes, the hollowed cheeks, the few lines of grey mixing in with his brown hair. This was the happy Mary had released him to? This was the life he'd wanted? Abby was a wonderful woman, a loving wife, but he always, _always_ had a sense of needing something more.

The past five years in Denver – where they moved after ABQ Witsec Office shut down – Marshall had acclimated himself to a different reality and a new partner. A partner who understood his jokes, got his references, and usually agreed with his course of action. At home he had a wife who enjoyed burning him meals, spending quality time together when their schedules allowed, and talking about having a baby. A baby that never quite materialized because in his heart – pushed to the darkest reaches – he still pictured a child with blonde hair, a color neither he nor his wife could produce since genetically they didn't carry that particular color marker.

Five years without sarcasm, bullying, or soul-stripping conversations within conversations. Five years without a sense of completion, home, or anchor. Five years without Mary.

She'd done it, done what he never thought her capable of doing – she'd let him go. The furiously possessive, intensely loyal friend, soul mate, and throbbing beat of his secret heart, had walked down the aisle as his Best Man, recited a terrifically funny and accurate wedding toast, and then walked out of his life altogether. He'd told her the truth when he said he'd always answer her call, always come running to her aid, so she never called, never spoke. Mary hated e-mails, and postal letters were a thing of the past, so Marshall was left with pictures and memories of the indefinable thing they'd shared since months after their initial intense meeting all those years ago, before they became partners in every sense but romantic.

Abby called to him from the other room, her perky southern Barbie voice suddenly intrusive and grating against senses reaching for a low husky laugh laced with a life time of bitterness. He didn't want his wife's dark eyes and soft fingers undressing him, tracing his skin, but hands calloused from training and gunplay, hazel eyes snapping with fire and challenge. He wanted to feel alive as he did by her side, not trapped in this perfect life he'd always thought he wanted, but now realized was a reaction to words his father had spoken so truthfully years ago after meeting Abby: "it says something when you leave the bed of one woman for another one at four in the morning."

As always, Marshall had rebelled against his father, not realizing at the time it was hurting him more than it would his dad. He remembered the sadness in the older man's face on the day of his wedding, as if he was mourning the end of something. Now, a year after his old man's death, he understood: despite everything, his father had loved him, wanted him to have the best, and Abigail wasn't it. She never was. She was settling because he was too chicken-shit to admit his love for Mary was love love as a man for a woman, not just a best friend. He'd hidden from her for so long, he'd become comfortable with status quo and hadn't wanted to rock the boat, all the stupid clichés he could think up.

Now he had the happy life he posited to Mary on the balcony, and all he wanted was to throw himself off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This popped into my head as I watched the "talk on the balcony" scene during the series finale (I know Marshall became Chief but this is why it's called an AU). One part of me is happy they didn't let Mary and Marshall get together because ultimately Mary wasn't in the right place to be open to him, though she was getting there. The other part was sad because they truly were perfect for one another – perhaps if we'd gotten to see more of Abigail and him living a real life instead of a cutesy wootsey one, I could be more content with his choice.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There are beginnings and endings. And endings of beginnings.

The call, the one he stopped waiting for years ago, came at 3:12 A.M., hours after a month long drug-smuggling investigation wrapped up, so Marshall was understandably on edge when he groggily answered the phone.

"Marshall?" A throaty voice that still ran through his dreams sometimes floated down the wires. "It's Jinx...she died."

"What?"

"She, uh, died earlier from complications of liver cirrhosis. She lived longer than she expected, so it wasn't  _un_ expected exactly that she died. But she died."

Mary -  _Mary_  - rambled a bit longer, except Marshall had stopped listening in his shock over hearing her beloved rasp again.

Then his brain kicked into gear when the meaning of her words sank in.

"Oh God, Mary, I'm so sorry. What do you need?"

Silence filtered through and for a moment he worried their connection had ended, then he heard a small choked sob, one he knew she'd deny to her dying day.

"I know it's been awhile since we've seen each other - " twelve years was more than  _awhile_  - "can...will…?"

"Yes."

"You didn't let me finish," Mary chided shakily, her voice still thick with unshed tears.

"I said anytime you called, Mary. I still mean it."

Those words rose unbidden to his lips, but Marshall couldn't deny the sentiment. Love didn't just go away because you didn't see the object of your affection. He should know - he'd tried for  _years_  to deny his feelings for her, and in the end it left him with the same Mary-shaped hole in his heart, a broken marriage, and miles of bad road between Denver and Albuquerque.

"Her funeral is in a week. Will you come?"

"I haven't taken any vacation lately and we just finished up a big case so I'm due some time off."

Even if he wasn't, Marshall would make sure of it.

"I, uh, heard about the Morales case. Good job on the bust."

Pleasure warmed him and he ducked his head as he scratched the back of his neck. He felt like a schoolboy again, giddy over the popular girl knowing his name. Marshall felt a man at his age should be more mature, but he couldn't deny how much he used to crave her approval, especially since she was stingy with praise.  _Or had been_ , his mind's voice pointed out. What did he know of her now?

"Thanks. Still in contact with Stan?"

Stan had diplomatically stayed out of the middle of their decade and change separation, only clucking his tongue at their respective stubbornness. He understood  _why_ , but it was still something he felt bad about, especially since they were such good partners once upon a time.

"Yeah, I was there at his retirement party. Uh, you couldn't make it?"

The party, held nearly two years ago now, had come during the ending of his marriage, when Abby refused to take the silences and half-truths he fed her. She'd always known about his obsession with Mary and was willing to ignore it as long as he stayed true to his marriage vows. He did, of course, because he wasn't the type of man to be unfaithful, but he couldn't stay true to the implied promises when his heart was torn between two strong-willed and completely different women. The inability for Abby to have children - faulty fallopian tubes - stressed their marriage even more, and one she took especially personally because Mary, who had never wanted kids, ended up with one.

When Stan informed Marshall Mary would be there, Abby had given him an ultimatum: go to New Mexico or stay here with me. It should've never gotten to that point, especially as he hadn't seen or talked to Mary since their wedding, but the seconds long hesitation cost him as she decided she couldn't fight Mary's ghost any longer.

"Marshall, you still there?"

"Yeah, Mary. Yeah. I'll make arrangements to fly out there. Get a hotel. The usual."

"Don't be silly. You can stay here with Norah and me."

He almost asked "Norah?" before his brain belatedly supplied the right context. The the red-cheeked darling he last saw in Mary's arms as she walked away.

"Right. Of course. Thanks."

"Abby is welcome too."

Her tone was decidedly neutral, wiped clean of the chaotic emotions clearly heard up until now. Marshall was glad she wasn't teary-eyed, but he wondered.

"No need. We're no longer...you know...married. Divorced a year now."

It didn't seem that long since Abby slept beside him, her things mingling with his, but he gave her the house they bought when they moved to Denver, and he now resided in a one bedroom apartment a few miles away.

"Oh. Uh, I didn't know. Sorry?"

"It was the right thing - you know what. Right now it's not important. Mary, I'm really sorry to hear about Jinx and I promise I'll be there soon."

"I couldn't breathe, Marshall. I need you."

He was momentarily thrown at the baldly stated words. It was a given she needed him; she just never  _said_  it before.

"I'm here for you; I always have been."

It was the first and last promise his heart had ever given her, something he hadn't been emotionally mature enough to recognize in time to stop from breaking Abby's heart.

"Come home, Marshall. Please come home."

And he did.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I never expected to continue this story, but as I was standing in the shower this morning, this phone call popped into my head fully formed. Whether they get together or not is irrelevant to me. It's the fact Mary reached out first to Marshall, something that rarely happened between them. I know I shouldn't have used Jinx's death, except Mary is stubborn enough to last her entire life without ever contacting Marshall regardless of whether she wants to or not. This, while sad, is the perfect excuse for her to do what she wants to anyway. Will there be more? Probably not. Or at least, not anytime soon. Who knows what I think in another couple years.


End file.
